although we are far apart
the same glint of moon
PS: 'moon' is the wrong kigo for the season! I am posting here -winter, only because I wrote it now; critique/advise/editing, welcome
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Today is also ending--
at the bottom of the snowstorm
the gigantic sun
---Arō
____________________________
at the bottom of the snowstorm
the gigantic sun
---Arō
____________________________
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Certificate of Merit Awarded to Spiros Zafiris by the The Japan Tanka Poetry Society and its Nihon Kajin Club
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5 comments:
Very luscious.
Alan
Unfortunately as moon is an autumn kigo, it should go into the Autumn section.
If you want it to say now in Winter, then you need to use winter moon, or another name for a winter moon.
There are plenty of websites for obtaining a folklore name for the moon in winter though. ;-)
Alan
Thanks Alan, will do re-think about the moon
..i like it too, Beatrice..but i just had a revelation of sorts..that is: to remove "of" of
Line 3, making it:
the same glint moon
..probably you won't like it or
wish to use it..but i offer it, here, now, cause it suddenly
struck me as appealing..>>spiros
Hi Spiros, sounds good, and I actually had a third version for that line: 'glint of the same moon' But I like your too!
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