Winter

snow banks
gritty and blackened --
the last guest that lingers on forever

Area 17 said...: I think you can turn this into a tanka somehow.

I don't like my version, but if you can introduce a turn in it yourself, you have a real winner.

e.g.

snow banks
gritty
and blackened --
the last guest
lingers on forever

gritty and blackened
the snow banks
my last guest
lingers on forever
before we can be together; February 24, 2011
Kelly M. said...: your thoughts are always welcome, Alan! I'll have to do my homework as I'm not sure what a tanka is --; February 25, 2011
Area 17 said...: Check out:
tanka

Do you have a copy of Bill's Haiku Handbook? It has most of the short forms as well as tanka.

all my best,

Alan; February 26, 2011
David said...: i thought

snow banks
gritty and blackened
the last to leave

i know it changes things

thanks

David; March 02, 2011

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