I think you can turn this into a tanka somehow.I don't like my version, but if you can introduce a turn in it yourself, you have a real winner.e.g.snow banksgritty and blackened --the last guest lingers on forever gritty and blackenedthe snow banksmy last guest lingers on forever before we can be together
your thoughts are always welcome, Alan! I'll have to do my homework as I'm not sure what a tanka is --
Check out:tankaDo you have a copy of Bill's Haiku Handbook? It has most of the short forms as well as tanka.all my best,Alan
i thoughtsnow banksgritty and blackenedthe last to leavei know it changes thingsthanksDavid
Post a Comment
4 comments:
I think you can turn this into a tanka somehow.
I don't like my version, but if you can introduce a turn in it yourself, you have a real winner.
e.g.
snow banks
gritty
and blackened --
the last guest
lingers on forever
gritty and blackened
the snow banks
my last guest
lingers on forever
before we can be together
your thoughts are always welcome, Alan! I'll have to do my homework as I'm not sure what a tanka is --
Check out:
tanka
Do you have a copy of Bill's Haiku Handbook? It has most of the short forms as well as tanka.
all my best,
Alan
i thought
snow banks
gritty and blackened
the last to leave
i know it changes things
thanks
David
Post a Comment