I like the poem...London dawnshrouded in a gauzeof mist - piercedwith red reflected lightfrom high city windows ...but feel the 2nd and 3rd lines aren't strong enough...Gauze was traditionally woven in Palestine and the etymology of the English word derives from the place name for Gaza.So very unLondon. ;-)Whereas if used as a medical dressing (gauze is generally made of cotton)...London dawncovered in medical dressingspierced with red lightfrom highrise windows all my best,Alan
Thanks Alan - gauze is the word I wanted a smothering grey-white opaque covering except for the glint of reflected dawn light from Canary Wharf.i think i must have had in mind this poem by seamus heaney http://conjuredsunlight.blogspot.com/search/label/Death%20of%20a%20NaturalistCheersDavid
Yes, I like Wove a strong gauze of sound around the smell. in Death of a Naturalist.Why not use something from your interesting prose account of why you wrote the poem? ;-)London dawn a smothering grey-white opaque it covers the glint of reflected dawn light from Canary Wharf..
"Shrouded in a gauze of mist" is sad and lovely. It's what I first liked about this piece.Your writing is getting stronger and stronger, David, if my novice perspective amounts to anything. Happy New Year.
Thanks Alan - I'm working on itdiana there is something about the 'extreme conditions' over here that may have triggered something new at last.I don't think you can call yourself a novice any more diana!Happy New Year to you too. I pray that you will bring more healing into the world and reduce the pain of the patients you meet in 2010.Best wishesDavid
Thank you so much, David. I'll pray for enlightened teaching for you (if I've correctly gathered what you do). There's nothing more invigorating that having one's mind opened by a good teacher.
Lovely , lovely images. OH, wish I was there. Thank you.Melanie
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Winter