Today is also ending--
at the bottom of the snowstorm
the gigantic sun

---Arō

____________________________
London dawn
shrouded in a gauze
of mist - pierced
with red reflected light
from high city windows

7 comments:

Alan Summers said...

I like the poem...

London dawn
shrouded in a gauze
of mist - pierced
with red reflected light
from high city windows


...but feel the 2nd and 3rd lines aren't strong enough...

Gauze was traditionally woven in Palestine and the etymology of the English word derives from the place name for Gaza.

So very unLondon. ;-)

Whereas if used as a medical dressing (gauze is generally made of cotton)...


London dawn
covered
in medical dressings
pierced with red light
from highrise windows


all my best,

Alan

David said...

Thanks Alan - gauze is the word I wanted a smothering grey-white opaque covering except for the glint of reflected dawn light from Canary Wharf.

i think i must have had in mind this poem by seamus heaney

http://conjuredsunlight.blogspot.com/search/label/Death%20of%20a%20Naturalist

Cheers

David

Alan Summers said...

Yes, I like Wove a strong gauze of sound around the smell. in Death of a Naturalist.

Why not use something from your interesting prose account of why you wrote the poem? ;-)

London dawn
a smothering grey-white opaque
it covers the glint
of reflected dawn light
from Canary Wharf.


.

diana l. said...

"Shrouded in a gauze of mist" is sad and lovely. It's what I first liked about this piece.

Your writing is getting stronger and stronger, David, if my novice perspective amounts to anything. Happy New Year.

David said...

Thanks Alan - I'm working on it

diana there is something about the 'extreme conditions' over here that may have triggered something new at last.

I don't think you can call yourself a novice any more diana!

Happy New Year to you too. I pray that you will bring more healing into the world and reduce the pain of the patients you meet in 2010.

Best wishes

David

diana l. said...

Thank you so much, David. I'll pray for enlightened teaching for you (if I've correctly gathered what you do). There's nothing more invigorating that having one's mind opened by a good teacher.

Cassiopeia Rises said...

Lovely , lovely images. OH, wish I was there. Thank you.

Melanie