black windows
where the old man lived -
ice on my cheek
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Today is also ending--
at the bottom of the snowstorm
the gigantic sun
---Arō
____________________________
at the bottom of the snowstorm
the gigantic sun
---Arō
____________________________
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Certificate of Merit Awarded to Spiros Zafiris by the The Japan Tanka Poetry Society and its Nihon Kajin Club
Winter Haiku
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4 comments:
Absolutely love those first two lines!
Maybe it needs a dash or ellipsis after "lived" though?
I could be wrong. ;-)
I'll definitely be revisting this one as it does have great resonance!
Alan
Thanks, Alan. Following your advice, I have added a dash after 'lived': I glanced at the run-down house, now totally deserted since the occupant died - and the eerie impression gave me a start!
..quite striking..!
Thanks, Spiros.
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