Today is also ending--
at the bottom of the snowstorm
the gigantic sun


on his eyes and mine

although we are far apart

the same glint of moon

PS: 'moon' is the wrong kigo for the season! I am posting here -winter, only because I wrote it now; critique/advise/editing,  welcome


Area 17 said...

Very luscious.


Area 17 said...

Unfortunately as moon is an autumn kigo, it should go into the Autumn section.

If you want it to say now in Winter, then you need to use winter moon, or another name for a winter moon.

There are plenty of websites for obtaining a folklore name for the moon in winter though. ;-)


Beatrice V said...

Thanks Alan, will do re-think about the moon

Spiros Zafiris said...

..i like it too, Beatrice..but i just had a revelation of sorts..that is: to remove "of" of
Line 3, making it:

the same glint moon

..probably you won't like it or
wish to use it..but i offer it, here, now, cause it suddenly
struck me as appealing..>>spiros

Beatrice V said...

Hi Spiros, sounds good, and I actually had a third version for that line: 'glint of the same moon' But I like your too!