Beautifully lyrical image Kelly. But thinking in "haiku style" did you experiment with a more concise shape?for example:feathered brown blossomleaning towards the sun(or sunrise)small sparrowJust a personal opinion, but I think the original lends itself to a longer poem, while the same image can be expressed more succinctly also, as a haiku. Bx
Thank you, Beatrice! Sometimes one tinkers too much and loses sight of the original intent?
I love it, but also love the original if you were to work it into a longer poem. Merry Christmas!
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