feathered brown blossom
leaning into the sun --
small sparrow
(revised 12/24; thanks, Beatrice!)
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Today is also ending--
at the bottom of the snowstorm
the gigantic sun
---Arō
____________________________
at the bottom of the snowstorm
the gigantic sun
---Arō
____________________________
Events
Certificate of Merit Awarded to Spiros Zafiris by the The Japan Tanka Poetry Society and its Nihon Kajin Club
Winter Haiku
-
►
2018
(2)
- January 2018 (2)
-
►
2017
(11)
- November 2017 (1)
- April 2017 (2)
- March 2017 (1)
- January 2017 (7)
-
►
2015
(12)
- March 2015 (2)
- February 2015 (2)
- January 2015 (8)
-
►
2014
(5)
- February 2014 (3)
- January 2014 (2)
-
►
2013
(26)
- December 2013 (3)
- November 2013 (2)
- March 2013 (6)
- February 2013 (4)
- January 2013 (11)
-
►
2012
(116)
- December 2012 (8)
- March 2012 (1)
- February 2012 (52)
- January 2012 (55)
-
►
2011
(241)
- December 2011 (47)
- November 2011 (2)
- October 2011 (1)
- March 2011 (22)
- February 2011 (91)
- January 2011 (78)
-
►
2010
(433)
- December 2010 (64)
- November 2010 (6)
- October 2010 (2)
- August 2010 (2)
- July 2010 (1)
- March 2010 (27)
- February 2010 (132)
- January 2010 (199)
-
▼
2009
(181)
- December 2009 (181)
Author Archive
- Alan Summers
- Angeliki Korre
- Ashi
- Barry H. Levine
- Barry Levine
- Beatrice V
- Bhalachandra Sahaj
- carlos gesmundo
- Chevrefeuille
- Cora Whitmore
- Crafty Green Poet
- Damien Gabriels
- David
- Dennis Tomlinson
- diana l.
- Diana Teneva
- Diane Mayr
- Gemma Wilson
- Gennady Nov
- gerald england
- gillena cox
- Gwilym Williams
- Isabel
- J. Andrew Lockhart
- Jack Galmitz
- Jake Salzer
- jem
- Jenn Jilks
- Jim Tantillo
- john mcdonald
- kelly m.
- kenneth daniels
- Kristin Riggs
- Magical Mystical Teacher
- Maya Lyubenova
- megan arkenberg
- Melanie Bishop
- Möme
- Nancy Bea Miller (Genre Cookshop)
- Nora Wood
- P.K. Padhy
- Pamela A. Babusci
- Pearl Pirie
- phoebe lake
- R.K.SINGH
- Rachel Green
- Reihaisha
- Robert Ian
- Sarvananda Bluestone
- Shelley Krause
- Spiros Zafiris
- Sue Turner
- Tumblewords
- Vic Gendrano
- Vida
- Wahyu W. Basjir
3 comments:
Beautifully lyrical image Kelly. But thinking in "haiku style" did you experiment with a more concise shape?
for example:
feathered brown blossom
leaning towards the sun(or sunrise)
small sparrow
Just a personal opinion, but I think the original lends itself to a longer poem, while the same image can be expressed more succinctly also, as a haiku.
Bx
Thank you, Beatrice! Sometimes one tinkers too much and loses sight of the original intent?
I love it, but also love the original if you were to work it into a longer poem. Merry Christmas!
Post a Comment